Wednesday, March 22, 2017

"And then the murders began."

According to The Hook (visit this site), adding "And then the murders began" as the second sentence in any book makes it instantly better.

Challenge accepted--with my own books. Let's have some fun, shall we? And I won't cheat by making it the second or third sentence if it doesn't make sense in its placement or comes in the middle of dialogue. Second sentence only. Ready? Let's do this:

THE BONDS OF MATRI-MONEY: "Of course we'll appeal the decision." And then the murders began.

A LITTLE SLICE OF HEAVEN: Kyle Hayden huddled near the rancid dumpster, shielding a fistful of yellow mums from the wicked October wind. And then the murders began.

A RUN FOR THE MONEYWhen Nicole Fleming squirmed, the sound of sweaty thighs unsticking from her leather chair resonated like a blaring trumpet. And then the murders began.

NOBODY'S DARLING“Everyone is looking for a mother to care for them.” And then the murders began.

NOBODY'S BUSINESS: "I bet, in your wildest dreams, you never thought you'd be living with your mother at your age." And then the murders began.

NOBODY'S PERFECTStuck in morning rush hour traffic with her mother and her younger sister, Summer Raine Jackson understood the true meaning of torture. And then the murders began.

CHASING ADONIS: Persephone, goddess of the Underworld, fought to stifle her delight at this luscious turn of events. And then the murders began.

ETERNALLY YOURS: Jodie Devlin sucked at life. And then the murders began.

IN YOUR DREAMS: Sean Martino stared over the stark world of the Chasm and steeled against another round of shivers. And then the murders began.

WAITING IN THE WINGS: Death was no place for pussies. And then the murders began.

DUPING CUPID: "I need a man." And then the murders began.

CHARMING FOR MOTHER'S DAY: O.C.I.F.: Oh, crap, it's Friday. And then the murders began.

DUET IN SEPTEMBER: "It's one lousy month, Nia." And then the murders began.

REUNION IN OCTOBER: No one should have to face a morning with decaf. And then the murders began.

HOMECOMING IN NOVEMBER: I looked up at the new sign over the storefront and stifled a shudder that had nothing to do with the first day of November's chilly wind. And then the murders began.

So...what do you think? Which one's your favorite? Share yours, if you've got one. Or choose your favorite book.

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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

It's Pajama Day! Yay!

Winter Storm Stella is bearing down on the east coast today, and the universe has declared this a Pajama Day. Zoe the Wonder Pup and I love Pajama Day. For those who don't experience winter nor'easter storms, you can't possibly understand the thrill of being advised to stay in your home to avoid getting stuck on snowy roads. For writers with day jobs (like me), this is a golden opportunity to refuse to get dressed, and instead, to drink lots of coffee, snuggle up with a roaring fire, and get writing done. There is no guilt since you can't go to work, can't go to the gym, can't even get to Starbucks. What's a girl to do? 

Write! In your pajamas! All day! What decadence.

Of course, reality will eventually creep in and we'll have to shovel all that snow off the driveway so we can get to the day job and the gym and Starbucks tomorrow. 

But for right now, Pajama Day is a glorious feeling. Enjoy, my fellow northeasterners, and stay safe!

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Saturday, March 4, 2017

Ad Nauseum - Part Deux

If you know me, you know I usually have the TV or music on in any house or hotel room I'm currently in. I can't think in a vacuum and total silence creeps me out. Since I listen to music most of the day at Le Day Job, at night, the television's on--mainly for background noise. I rarely pay much attention to what's on unless Hubster and I are binge-watching a new favorite show. 

This means it's time for my review of the latest round of commercials that make me nuts.


Let's do it.

First off, whoever is in charge of marketing for the animated movie, "Sing," needs to switch to decaf. Look, I get it. You wanted to promote the movie. But when I'm watching adult-oriented programs, and okay, maybe a few parents are watching, too, but most of us don't need to see the same ad three times in a row during every commercial break! (No lie.) Slow down, Skippy. Give someone else a turn.

Next, Volvo. In particular, the poet who writes "Afoot and lighthearted, I take to the open road..." while driving his Volvo. The editor in me cringes at the repetitive words and the meandering pattern. If the message is supposed to be driving a Volvo inspires your creative side, maybe hire a real poet to write something meaningful, instead of tapping Bill in the corner cubicle.

Huntington Learning Center. The teenager shouting at her mother in the supermarket that she's not getting into college. Really? If your teenage daughter has a tantrum in the produce aisle, you've got bigger problems than whether she'll get to college.

Toilet paper commercials. First of all, do we really need commercials for toilet paper? Is there competition from some alternative that threatens the market? Yes, I know, it's all about the brand, but quite frankly, the ad execs are going a little overboard. Bears tell us to "enjoy the go," while I'm also led to believe bathroom decor is watching me in there. Ick.

It's not all bad, though. I love Subaru's driving dogs and break out in giggles whenever I see them. The new Mr. Clean commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl gets a thumbs-up from me.

What about you? Got a favorite, or one that makes you crazy? Tell me!

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