Sunday, November 2, 2014

Comments I Suspect My Cat is Secretly Saying to Me

Meet Skitten. Originally, she was named Little Miss Bella Wigglebottom, but when she entered our household, we noticed she was the most skittish kitten we'd ever met. Thus, we renamed her. 

She's been with us about six years now, and it's only been in the last twelve months or so that she's come to appreciate and seek out affection or even human company. 

Lately, she's grown attached to me. So much so that it's often like having a toddler in the house again. Skitten sits with me while I'm writing (and on me or on my laptop), she follows me into the bathroom, lets me know when her food bowl is getting low (and believe me, her opinion of "getting low" does not match mine) with very loud meows, and has no problem demanding my undivided attention at the most inopportune times by knocking things off my desk or dresser. 

It's occurred to me that, if she could talk, she'd probably have a lot of opinions about me and my life. I wonder if any of these thoughts are running through her head: 

1. Why do you stand on that white box with the numbers that dial and then become sad? Boxes are supposed to make you happy. If it doesn't work like that, find another box.

2. Stop throwing out my bags. Every time I get one crushed up just the way I like it and you get rid of it, I have to start all over with another one.

3. Water? You stand under it willingly and allow yourself to get wet? Humans are crazy, man.

4. What is this day job you speak of? You shouldn't go there. Take it from me. Staying in bed all day is much better. 

5. Put down the laptop and pay attention to meeeeee!

6. Let's discuss the dog situation...

On second thought, maybe we should just stick to the meows.

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