Wednesday, August 1, 2012

If Authors Competed in the Summer Olympics

If the publishing industry held its own Olympics, imagine what categories we'd compete in! I did. How many gold medals would you get?

1. Deadline Biathlon. You can see the tape looming closer and closer, but you've still got the climax and denouement to finish before the clock runs out! And that other author is a few seconds ahead of you. Can you clear that last hurdle and resist the urge to trip up the leader?

2. Bad Review Vaulting. Amazon, Goodreads, B&N, and all the review blogs are less than thrilled with your style of genius. Rise above the hurt feelings and move on with grace.

3. Swimming Through Social Media. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, TumblR... You need a game plan to reach the far wall and still have time to write.

4. The Volleyball of Edits. Revisions are served; you've gotta perfectly slam that manuscript back to your editor.

5. Cross Country Conference Attendance. It takes perfect packing, excellent planning, and the ability to adjust quickly for bad weather, travel delays, and lost hotel reservations. But will your books and swag get there on time?

6. Fencing With Words. Brevity is always best. You, as the author, have to find the perfect description for a scene, the perfect comeback for your character, the perfect blurb to pique a reader's interest. It takes years of practice!

7. Tennis Pitch Session. While facing an editor or agent, serve the best elevator pitch, mini-blurb, and detailed description of your manuscript. Timing is crucial if you want top score.

8. Coffee High Dive. Plunge into that caffeine pool. You know you want to.

What events do you think might be good for authors?

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