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Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Glamorous Life of a Romance Author

We hear it a lot: how exciting our lives must be, how much money romance authors make, and we all live in pink palaces by the sea (think "She-Devil," a bad movie with Roseann Barr and Meryl Streep).

Today, I'm willing to share with you the details of my glamorous day.

1. Got up at 7 am to hit the day job while the rest of the fam slept in (dh got up just as I was leaving because he had an early morning paddleball game).
2. Day job til 1:30, then food shopping.
3. Came home, schlepped the groceries up the slippery, snow-covered driveway (in high-heeled boots!)
4. Dh took over at the patio so he didn't have to put shoes on, took the bags and brought them into the kitchen. Asked if I needed help putting stuff away. I said, yes, let me just go to the bathroom first. Dh volunteered to give me the frozen stuff so I could put it in the garage freezer (again, this deletes the need for him to put on shoes.)
5. Went to flush the toilet and discovered the guts had disconnected (apparently I'm the only one in the household who knows how to attach the floater to the flange, so no one feels the need to warn me in advance. Fixed the toilet.
6. Put away the groceries (including the frozen stuff in the garage freezer).
7. Removed the used K-cups from the counter and filled the Keurig with water (another set of mysterious tasks only dear old Mom knows how to accomplish).
8. Gave the pets food and water
9. Washed the family's breakfast and lunch dishes.
10. Cleaned the cats' litter box.

I've been home about an hour now; it's closing in on 4:00. I haven't eaten, I'm still in my work clothes and high-heeled boots, and I'm about to start folding and putting away the laundry that was left to pile up because yes, that's another feat only Moms can handle.

Is it any wonder I believe I need my very own wife? Well, guess what? That was the inspiration for Nobody's Darling, which will be coming out from Avalon Books next April. All parents need a hand every once in a while and April Raine's business "Rainey-Day Wife" helps fill the gaps and give struggling parents the gift of extra time. But Dr. Jefferson Prentiss believes businesses like April's do more harm than good by placing the intimacies of family life onto profit-seeking strangers. Who do you think is right?

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