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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ode to the Devil's Coffeemaker



Several months ago, I bought (after years of coveting) a Keurig coffeemaker. Maybe you've seen them? They just recently started advertising the product on television (in time for the holidays so Satan can get his claws on more caffeine-addicted souls). My Keurig offers me the opportunity to savor a cup of coffee--any type, any flavor, any strength--any time. This wondrous machine requires single-serving K-cups so anyone can have a fresh brewed cup o'joe whenever (s)he desires. And the possibilities are endless. There are K-cups for all kinds of coffee--decaf or regular, as well as tea, hot chocolate, chai. I'm betting next, they'll come out with K-cup Soups.
With my old Mr. Coffee, I often joked my house was like 7-11. Any time, day or night, you could come in and find a pot brewing. But now, my addiction has become so much worse. There is, naturally, that first cup in the morning no true caffaholic can live without. But that's just the beginning. Sure, I fill the travel mug to take to work. And when I come home, rather than settling for a boring water, diet soda, or some other beverage with my lunch, there's my bestest bud, Keurig, beckoning me with his eerie blue light like some bizarre K-Mart special. While I'm making dinner, I can't help but fall under its spell. After dinner, who doesn't like a nice cup of coffee to finish off the meal?
And the flavors only make the enticement harder to resist.
Chai Latte? Why not?
Pumpkin Spice? Don't mind if I do.
How about a holiday treat like Spicy Eggnog or Gingerbread? Yes, please!
Prefer your coffee iced? What a coincidence! There's a button just for you!
Recently, the cafe at my office closed. I'm seriously considering a trip to my local store for a mini-Keurig I can keep at my desk. The idea has major merit. But I worry the lines at my desk might get too long when fellow employees discover my little friend.
And guess what's on everyone's Christmas list this year?
So, here's to you, O Great and Powerful Keurig! They can take my precious coffeemaker when they pry it from my cold, dead (albeit jumpy) hands!


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